i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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