Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
