"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
