i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
