bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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