i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
