You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
