I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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