so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
