Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
