I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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