On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
