There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
And then my night got REAL pukey
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
