last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
