I hope mine doesn't look like that
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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