are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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