god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
