im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
