Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
