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i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
