Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
