Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
