We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
