he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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