it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
