Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
