Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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