opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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