The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
