My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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