i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
