Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
