Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
