if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
