bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I've blown a few things in my day
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
