dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize