I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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