My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
