I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
