I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
