my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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