I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
