Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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