If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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