she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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