Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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