Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize