you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
