doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
