I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize