Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
