No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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