"it" just moved
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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