Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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