pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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