Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
