How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
