Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
