will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
