So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just invented taco cereal.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
