that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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