Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Randomize
