Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
