i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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