i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He felt like a one man threesome
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
