He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I stole a fireplace last night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
