You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
