i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
