The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize