I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
