atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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