Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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