If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize