her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
