after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
